Category Archives: Searching

Mmmm lamb kebabs/just a little something I wrote in church yesterday

Worthy is the Lamb
The Lamb that was slain
Who reigns
The martyr that rules a nation
The mute poet
The paralysed dancer
The blind prophet
The king who rides a donkey
And not a high fucking war horse



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Happy (?) Independace day…

I guess its quite fitting that I be in the middle of reading Jesus For President during the U.S. Indepence day celebrations.

To whom do we pledge allegiance? I think I’m talking more to people who call themselves “Christians”.

An empire bent on killing our enemies, not making room for struggling brothers and sisters who are running from persecution, greedy and selfish to the core, apathic to the injustices we commit/have committed.

Or a way of life that loves our enemies, taking in the alien, generous and selfless, and compassionate toward our brothers and sisters.

Think of Jesus. Not as a helpless, earthworm baby, not as a sacrificial atonement to save people from “hell”, but as he lived. Which kingdom did he teach? To whom is God shedding his/her grace on? Or was that just some self-appointed deity on a certain State which suspiciously, down to the last column, resembles the Roman Empire.

I’m not just talking about The States here, I’m talking about the Great Southland Of The Holy Spirit as well. Murdering those who so welcomed us to this land we stand/work/play on. Praying the Lord’s Prayer before a parliamentary meeting yet debating whether to open up another concentration camp for “those queue jumpers/system dodgers/illegals/criminals”, buying that amazingly cute dress in full concsiousness that there is slave blood spilt all over that amazingly cute dress…

Kids, we are living in those times again. The Pax Rom– ahem, Americana is no peace at all.
We shall not bow to The Beast of Imperialism, of Wealth and Greed, to the disguise that is the Angel of Light, we shall have no other gods.

Anarchy at its simplest for me is equality, freedom and justice for all, that only a person who has no desire to rule at all can, with the help of the rest of his/her mob, can run their mob. That none of us can be the head of anything, only God. Power corrupts even the sincerest of hearts. Living the life of Love and Beauty. Remembering those on the margins and those within the confines and seeing them loved by Jesus as much as the next.

The Stock Broker, The Refugee, The C.E.O. and The Heroin Addict. The Church Goer, The Atheist, The Property Investor and The Homeless, The Aussie and The Aboriginal, The Lion and The Lamb; all loved by Love/Life/Way/Truth/Jesus/God/Allah as much as the next one.



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Ye old switcharoo

What good is it for a man or woman to gain the world yet lose their soul?

What good is it for a man or woman to lose the world yet gain their soul?

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It is key…

Vocation, vocation, vocation!!!

Work had such a stigma that it’s whay we have to do to pay the bills, etc. and it’s so socially acceptable to hate your job.

Why can’t you do something you love?
Because of money?
We live in australia, we can get by on “nothing” and still have food and shelter, and even if we dont have shelter, we kind of do and we have lots of food resources.

But anyway, I’m not telling you all to go homeless but to think about what is taking up your life, your 9-5’s (in my case, it’s a lot more hours than that). But yeah, i’ve been thinking about it a lot.

And sometimes we are just like “blahhh, workkkkkk :(” because of that negative hold society had placed on vocation, but we actually enjoy it despite its bleak moments.

We hate our chains and we want to break free yet we are not willing to step away from the shackles that have already been snapped off and are lying on the floor.


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Bikes and cars

Sometimes when I ride my bike or think about my bike riding I wish a car could just slam into me.

Not to die, not at all.
I picture myself getting hit, flying in the air by the force of the crash and as I am ascended temporarily, everything is released from my body.

All my worries, thoughts, stresses and hopelessness escapes and I leave it all behind on my way back down as I slam against the road; empty, refined, opened and reborn.
As my blood spills out, so does my life, not life as in like life/death or Life, but the baggage of life, the shit I carry from birth and keep collecting as I “grow up”.
Dragging more and more, muffling the crying, screaming, stamping Little Rachel demanding for hope and a happy ending ever after…

And so then I picture myself in the hospital, plastered head to foot, unburdened and finally filled with hope. My happy ending, like this crash is my atonement

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Seriously… I hate this year

Nuff said.

So much bullshit has been happening and my own insecurities making everything so much fucking worse that I have to take stupid fucking lengths that aren’t necessary if I didn’t function the way I do…

I need help, and I dont know who from. I dont know who will genuinely help me or just help me because that feeds their  insecurities or just help because they have to or that I’m paying them with money I dont have…

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And I will never think the same of mice ever again…

I just read a graphic novel about a man who survived the holocaust.
Hiding, Auschwitz, everything…
It started with a quote from Hitler saying “The Jews are undoubtedly a race, but they are not human.”

The pictures were horrifying and disturbing.
The jews were drawn as mice, germans as cats, americans as dogs, polish as pigs.

How could people be treated in such a way? I’ve always been super sensitive to the 2nd world war and the treatment of people in the concentration camps so I dont know why I bought this…

And it’s been making me think a lot on my new name for god.
Where was life there?
Of course among the living but they were halfway to death…
How was life brought into those places?

I keep hearing squeeks in my head of fear, terror and desperation. So loud when i close my eyes to sleep I’m scared I will have bad dreams tonight.


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